Supervillains Can Be Made
by TheSUNiswarmingup
Summary: A series of short episodes from Megamind's early career. I do not own Megamind, am not affiliated with Dreamworks, yadda yadda yadda...


"All rise! The court is now in session. The Honorable Judge Lorraine Mayfield presiding."

Dutifully, all rose—all except the Defendant, an unusually slim figure in a baggy orange jumpsuit, beneath an unexpectedly large bald head of a decidedly unnatural shade of cyan. As the humans rose, the Defendant leaned back in his chair, crossing his ankles on top of the desk and clasping his blue fingers behind the giant blue head. He affected a relaxed sigh, but his face wore an alert smirk.

The buzz of the police stun gun startled everyone but the Defendant, to whom it had been applied. Smiling lazily at the officer who had tased him, the blue man slowly stood up. Making eye contact with an elderly woman, he flashed an enormous, toothy smile and two thumbs up as she gasped and turned her head.

The Honorable Judge Mayfield was grayer, rounder, and more nearsighted than she had been at the beginning of her thirty-odd year tenure in Metro City, and her dignified, deliberate manner commanded respect no matter where she went. Her collar perfectly starched, hair neatly coiffed, and amber tortoiseshell glasses complementing her smooth cocoa skin, Judge Mayfield took to the bench and soberly addressed the court. "In the matter of _The People of Metro City v. Megamind_. Defendant, please state your full name for the court."

"You may call me Megamind, Evil Overlord."

"Very well. Will the Prosecutor please state the charges that have been made against the Defendant in this case."

The prosecuting attorney, his once ginger head now grey and balding, passed a linen handkerchief over his flushed, sweaty face and pointed, beaklike nose. His stature was nearly as slight as Megamind's in his tailored charcoal suit. He carefully folded the handkerchief and returned it to his pocket; then, fixing his gleaming pale eyes on the defendant, he spoke rapidly, his voice strident and his elocution flawless:

"Your Honor. The Defendant has been accused of terrorizing the innocent citizens of Metro City by simulating an _alien invasion_ which resulted in the destruction of six abandoned buildings. The attacking alien forces were proven to be robots which responded to the voice commands of the Defendant. These robots emitted black smoke and shot lasers at said abandoned properties, which collapsed as bombs planted at the scene simultaneously detonated. The Defendant impersonated a journalist, broadcasting himself on large screens throughout the City and reading what was later determined to be the 1938 Orson Welles radio transmission of _The War of the Worlds._ The Defendant then claimed credit for the attack and threatened further destruction unless the city was immediately handed over to him. The Defendant successfully resisted arrest by two dozen officers of the law and appears to have _vaporized_ a police dog using a weapon that has not yet been recovered—that is to say, the dog seemingly disappeared when the Defendant fired his weapon. He then assaulted Metro Man and threatened to kill him during his arrest.

The Defendant is being charged with disorderly conduct, impersonation of the news media, destruction of property, possession of weapons, possession of explosive materials and devices, public endangerment, felony air pollution, issuing threats, resisting arrest, and the assault of humanoid and canine officers of the law."

Shaking her head, Judge Mayfield turned to Megamind, who had been pointedly examining his fingernails throughout the reading of the charges. "Before I take your plea," she began—

"Plea?" repeated Megamind, suddenly attentive to the proceedings. "No, Your Honor. I make no plea. It is the people of Metrocity and your pathetic Metro Mahn who will be doing the pleading. When I have succeeded in taking control of this wretched—"

"ORDER!" bellowed Judge Mayfield, banging her gavel." "Megamind, I am charging you with direct criminal contempt."

"Better make it a double," answered Megamind. "Because 'contempt' doesn't begin to cover it."

"Done." The Judge's voice was once again low and controlled. "I'm not here to play games with you, Megamind. Regardless of your plea to the charges at hand, you will be held without bail until your contempt hearing. For the record, how do you plead to the charges that were read by the Prosecution?"

"Oh, extremely guilty." Megamind cocked an eyebrow and steepled his fingers, smiling at the Judge. "And my next attempt will succeed."

"So noted," replied Judge Mayfield. "I see no reason to bother with trial. The Defendant will be held in the maximum security cell of the Metro City Prison for the Criminally Gifted while awaiting his sentencing hearing on a date to be determined by the court. This court is now adjourned."

Megamind accepted the handcuffs with a grin. Noticing the fear on the faces of everyone but Judge Mayfield, Megamind laughed maniacally, and continued laughing all the way home to prison.

This had been his first criminal arraignment. It would mean a significant cell upgrade.


End file.
